~funny ghost~

Tersebutlah kisah dua orang hantu. Mereka ni baru bertemu lalu mereka pun berborakla untuk mengisi masa lapang kehidupan mereka sebagai hantu. Sepanjang perbualan mereka, Hantu B ni tak habis-habis menggigil. Lalu, Hantu A yang kehairanan ni pun bertanya,
"Apsal kau ni asyik menggigil je?"

"Oh..cara aku mati dulu teruk..aku mati dalam peti ais...sejuk!!" Jawab Hantu B sambil menggigil lagi.

"Ooo..kesian... aku dulu mati sebab heart attack." Kata Hantu A ramah.
"Kau memang sakit jantung kronik ye? Apsal ko tak gi buat operation? Kalau tak, sure kau tengah lepak-lepak ngan family kau sekarang." Balas Hantu B.

"Dah,aku dah buat dah !In fact mase aku mati tu, aku in recovery. Panjang ceritanya..." jawab Hantu A sayu.

"Ceritala sikit..Sambil-sambil lepak nih.."
Shin Asuka: "Camni..Aku syak isteri aku main kayu tiga ngan aku. So this one day, aku ingat nak perangkap la isteri aku..Aku pura-pura gi keje tapi actually aku park keta aku kat simpang hujung umah aku je. Seperti yang aku syak, masuk sebuah keta kat carpark umah aku. Aku rilex dulu sebab nak carik mase sesuai tangkap diorang."

"So, ko dapatla tangkap diorang?" tanya Hantu B penuh minat.
"Tak. Aku cume jumpe isteri aku je kat dalam bilik. Yang aku heran, mase aku masuk umah tu, aku nampak ade kasut laki kat pintu umah aku. Aku tanye isteri aku tapi die takmo jawab. So aku pun lari-lari sekeliling umah aku nak carik jantan tuh. Abis sume bilik aku carik tapi takde pun.. Last-last, sebab aku penat sangat berlari carik jantan tuh, aku pun jatuh pengsan sebab heart attack. And aku tak sangka aku mati lak..." kata Hantu A mengakhiri ceritanya dengan kesedihan.
Hantu B terdiam mendengarkan cerita Hantu A. Selepas beberapa ketika, Hantu B berkata,

"Kenapa kau tak check kat dalam peti sejuk? Kalau kau check kat situ, sure kita berdua still hidup lagi.

hee..cikgu 0r student yg stupid?

Murid : Selamat pagi, cikgu.

Cikgu : (Menengking) Mengapa selamat pagi sahaja? Petang dan malam awak doakan saya tak selamat?

Murid : Selamat pagi, petang dan malam cikgu!

Cikgu : Panjang sangat! Tak pernah dibuat oleh orang! Kata selamat sejahtera! Senang dan penuh bermakna. Lagipun ucapan ini meliputi semua masa dan keadaan.

Murid : Selamat sejahtera cikgu!

Cikgu : Sama-sama, duduk! Dengar sini baik-baik. Hari ini cikgu nak uji kamu semua tentang perkataan berlawan. Bila cikgu sebutkan perkataannya, kamu semua mesti menjawab dengan cepat, lawan bagi perkataan-perkataan itu, faham?

Murid : Faham, cikgu!

Cikgu : Saya tak mahu ada apa-apa gangguan.

Murid : (senyap)

Cikgu : Pandai!

Murid : Bodoh!

Cikgu : Tinggi!

Murid : Rendah!

Cikgu : Jauh!

Murid : Dekat!

Cikgu : Keadilan!

Murid : UMNO!

Cikgu : Salah!

Murid : Betul!

Cikgu : Bodoh!

Murid : Pandai!

Cikgu : Bukan!

Murid : Ya!

Cikgu : Oh Tuhan!

Murid : Oh Hamba!

Cikgu : Dengar ini!

Murid : Dengar itu!

Cikgu : Diam!

Murid : Bising!

Cikgu : Itu bukan pertanyaan, bodoh!

Murid : Ini ialah jawapan, pandai!

Cikgu : Mati aku!

Murid : Hidup kami!

Cikgu : Rotan baru tau!

Murid : Akar lama tak tau!

Cikgu : Malas aku ajar kamu!

Murid : Rajin kami belajar cikgu!

Cikgu : Kamu gila!

Murid : Kami siuman!

Cikgu : Cukup! Cukup!

Murid : Kurang! Kurang!

Cikgu : Sudah! Sudah!

Murid : Belum! Belum!

Cikgu : Mengapa kamu semua bodoh sangat?

Murid : Sebab saya seorang pandai!

Cikgu : Oh! Melawan!

Murid : Oh! Mengalah!

Cikgu : Kurang ajar!

Murid : Cukup ajar!

Cikgu : Habis aku!

Murid : Kekal kami!

Cikgu : O.K. Pelajaran sudah habis!

Murid : K.O. Pelajaran belum bermula!

Cikgu : Sudah, bodoh!

Murid : Belum, pandai!

Cikgu : Berdiri!

Murid : Duduk!

Cikgu : Saya kata UMNO salah!

Murid : Kami dengar KeADILan betul!

Cikgu : Bangang kamu ni!

Murid : Cerdik kami tu!

Cikgu : Rosak!

Murid : Baik!

Cikgu : Kamu semua ditahan tengah hari ini!

Murid : Dilepaskan tengah malam itu!

Cikgu : (Senyap dan mengambil buku-bukunya keluar.)

chilled-out chick story =)

nurshalini zufri..addicted to david henrie. music is her life..known as miss miley a.k.a megan fox. she is a sweetie sugar cane bee..being such a best damn friend to her bff.

p/s: stay gorgeous hottie..

lo0k at thiz ;)

t0 my friend wh0 r....

To My Friends Who Are…MARRIED
Love is not about “it’s your fault”,
but “I’m sorry”, not “where are you’
but “I’m right here”, not “how could
you” but “I understand”, not “I wish
you were”, but “I’m thankful you are.”

To My Friends Who Are…ENGAGED
The true measure of compatibility is
not the years spent together but how
good you are for each other.

To My Friends Who Are…NOT SO SINGLE
Love isn’t about becoming somebody
else’s “perfect person.” It’s about
finding someone who helps you become
the best person you can be.

To My Friends Who Are…HEARTBROKEN
Heartbreaks last as long as you want
and cut deep as you allow them to go.
The challenge is not how to survive
heartbreaks but to learn from them.

To My Friends Who Are…NAIVE
How to be in love: Fall but don’t
stumble, be consistent but not too
persistent, share and never be unfair,
understand and try not to demand, and
get hurt but never keep the pain.

To My Friends Who Are…SEARCHING
True love cannot be found where it
does not truly exist, nor can it be
hidden where it truly does. Love is
magic. The more we hide it, the more
it shows; the more you suppress it,
the more it grows.

*To My Friends Who
Are…PLAYBOY /GIRL TYPE
*Never say I love if you don’t care.
Never talk about feelings if they
aren’t there. Never touch a life if
you mean to break a heart. Never look
in the eye when what you do is lie.
The cruelest thing a guy can do to a
girl is to let her fall in love when
he doesn’t intend to catch her fall.

To My Friends Who Are…POSSESSIVE
It breaks your heart to see the one
you love happy with someone else but
it’s more painful to know that the one
you love is unhappy with you.

To My Friends Who Are…AFRAID TO CONFESS
Love hurts when you break up with
someone. It hurts even more when
someone breaks up with you. But love
hurts the most when the person you
love has no idea how you feel.

To My Friends Who Are…STILL HOLDING ON
A sad thing about life is that when
you meet someone who means a lot to
you, only to find out in the end that
it was never bound to be and we just
have to let go.

To My Friends Who Are…SINGLE
Love is like a butterfly. The more you
chase it, the more it eludes you. But
if you just let it fly, it would come
to you when you least expect it. Love
can make you happy but often times it
hurts, but love’s only special when
you give it to someone who is worth
it. So take your time and choose the
best!

Three things never return:
the past, the neglected opportunity,
and the spoken word